Girlfriends are neededdddddddd

INTRODUCTION

“Girlfriends – boon or bane? “ must be one of many of life’s mysteries that still has not been resolved. At different states of mind, different answers and arguments have been thrown up. None has yet been thoroughly convincing. Seeking to provide a solution to this problem, research was taken up on this topic and proof can be provided, beyond doubt, that girlfriends, if not the greatest asset to their guys, are definitely a boon to the economy.

Long live u people BY.TELECOM SERVICES

Martin Cooper’s invention of the mobile phone marked a revolution in worldwide communication systems. Nevertheless the present situation demands re-questioning the purpose behind its use. ” WAS IT INVENTED FOR SOMETHIN ELSE? “ remains a question. Asking a college student about it evokes unconventional (but very much expected) replies.

In a recent survey it has been proved that guys either talk a lot to their girl friends (if they have one) or talk to some girl, trying to impress them. And thus we have massive growth in the telecom sector thereby increasing the economy of the nation. Why do telecom service providers have night talk facility and CUG (Closed User Group) facility? . Is it for the old people and the greater business folk to chat and proceed with their dealings? . A plausible hypothesis is that they want the guys to call the girls and chat for hours together thereby bringing about a huge margin for them and a good ransom for the government.

A quantity of considerable relevance here is the CUNNING ratio which is the ratio between the amount of calls done by a guy to the number of calls done by a girl and it is so tragic in the present scenario that it is extremely high and we can nearly NEGLECT THE GIRLS. So the growth of the Indian economy depends upon girls and guys having gals.

Recently I took a survey of calls made by a few students for a week and I have drawn a graph showing how people talk at night and to whom.

S no	Calls 2 parents	Calls 2 other friends	Calls 2 others	CALLS 2 GALS
1	6	15	5	400
2	8	20	12	650
3	20	35	20	200
4	145	15	2	10
5	3	30	1	700
6	2	15	15	500
7	15	20	45	600
8	160	10	95	05
9	60	25	70	100
10	2	5	10	700

LOOK AT THOSE SKYSCRAPERS GUESS WE DO HAVE A NEW YORK OVER HERE

“Love potions made here” :

“The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. College canteens have proved testing ground for useful research. To begin with the number of couples spotted in canteens is exceedingly large. Going from table to table, the one common site is couples. The ratio of time spent to productivity is meagre but the bottomline is that food sector will make a jackpot in years to come. No wonder they compete for contracts in various colleges. It’s a very good business trend for a sure shot success in food sector. Statistics put up in the LoverZ magazine in year 2007 shows how profitable the female companion can be to the food sector. The percentage compared to past ten yrs have increased by approximately 70%. Studies were done as to what lead to this hike and several conclusions were arrived formulated. But one glaring point is the non linear relationship between the no: of couples to the time spent there. It gives a hyperbolic curve proven the profits of food sector. And these guys never will allow the girls to pay the bill and so the girls will have profits as they eat for free and thus we have a true MANAGER who seldom uses money but gets maximum out of everything.

Lets take the total people coming to the canteen as X

Let the number going for the sake of eating as A

Let the number of gals going to canteen be G

Let the cost of the food be 10(lets say)

The amount of money grossed by the canteen be Z

The Number of guys who pay money be B

Number of gals paying the bill be F

Z=10*(X)

Generally X=A+G+GUYS PAYING THE BILL

Z=10*(A+G+GUYS PAYING….)

The value of G is really low and can be neglected

Z=10*(A+GUYS….)

Z=B+F

But the B doesn’t allow the F to pay so generally

Z=B

THUS THE CANTEEN GETS A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY JUST FROM GUYS WHO DON’T EVEN EAT BUT WILL GET THE GIRLS SOMETHING. IT THEREFORE HELPS TO IMPROVE OUR ECONOMY.

70 mm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

WONDER WHY MOVIE THEATRES CAME INTO EXISTENCE?

If we look back at the 70’s and the 80’s , people used to go to theatres with their families to watch movies and get entertained . A wholesome experience

Drifting to 21^st century, “Experience” comes in an entirely different package. It has become more or less a teenage hangout. Wonder if the theatres have put up a sign as in most of the discs: “ ONLY COUPLES ALLOWED “. Another observed phenomenon is that of the increasing theatre length for reasons that are rhetorical. Coming back to the multiplexes these people sell tickets faster than pancakes. And these people even have couple seats in their theatres which has a single sofa in which to people can sit. Multiplexes inadvertently become modulators for the boon to the nation, the couples. When we look at the statistics take the entertainment ratio equal to the people going for watching the movies \ no. of people who go just to be with their girl then the studies prove that the ratio is usually of pico order. Phenomenally low.

Expressions made easy

Talking about new years and birth days what comes to our minds are greeting cards. I used to wonder why archies and other such organizations had too many sections of “sorry cards” ‘thank u cards” and most important of all “proposal cards”. Well they have foreseen the scenario earlier. No wonder the govt. included paper factories in small scale industries for the rural sector to improve. A standing ovation to all the couples who have made this sector one of the most profitable ones. The Pen has indeed proved to be mightier then a sword. Filling these cards with figments of a desperate mind also serve the purpose of improving the guy’s creativity and accelerates the thought process. They have to remember the names of all your Girlfriends and so it’s good memory practice too. This will also help them in their personality development classes as communication skills develop and hence improve their opportunities in placements too. So in turn the education sector is also benefited and the unemployment problem is also solved.

CONCLUSION

One of the primary and perhaps the most significant reason as to why the Theatres or multiplexes are making money ,why telecom services are going beyond boundaries , why the canteen business is off the hook and small scale paper business is doing well is because of the so called Girlfriends. Ask not what the country has done for you ask what you have done for your country. FALLING IN LOVE , would heighten India’s position in the overall economic spectrum. The female population would hence constitute a significant portion of Indian economy.

Thus in view of future economic pursuits of our country, it would be of great advantage if its citizens if they would indulge themselves in unproductive yet useful conversations with the opposite sex.